She dreamed about the wall again. It was always the same dream. Slow motion, misty, the roses climbing up the stone wall. She reaches through the mist to touch the flowers but never gets the chance.
It was nineteen degrees in Boston this morning, and of course, it was snowing. Olivia had always despised the snow, and each flake seemed to mock her decision to move here. Yes, she had come for the unparalleled opportunities to pursue her physics PhD—but on mornings like this, she couldn’t help but question everything. She was supposed to graduate this spring—six years after she first arrived.
From her second-floor apartment window, she spotted her landlord outside. He lived below her in the two-family home and he was always good to her. As far as she knew, he didn’t have any family, so he treated her like his daughter. He was always helping her carry groceries, take out the trash, and shovel her car out when it snowed. He was up early this morning, already plowing the driveway.
She made the mistake of trying to pet Mulder, the grumpy old terrier she found by the dumpster outside the Chinese restaurant. He always growled and snapped whenever she tried to pet him. It took her months to get him close enough that she could snatch him and bring him inside. His fur was long and matted, tangled with leaves and twigs, and covered in fleas. Olivia brought him to the vet, who sedated him for an examination and cleaning. Despite being old and thin, he seemed in good shape. He grew fond of sitting next to Olivia and sleeping in her bed, but he did not allow affection.
She had been dreading this day. This morning’s meeting with her PhD committee was intended to focus on scheduling her dissertation defense for the upcoming spring—everything had been on track. But now, she was almost certain they knew she had spoken to Bradley Parker, the ombudsman, about their scientific misconduct. The ombudsman was meant to address student concerns confidentially and provide guidance, but when Olivia had met with him, she wasn’t so sure he would keep quiet.
Before this, she had never stood up for herself, and she had doubts about meeting him. It never occurred to her that she would actually file an official complaint. All she wanted was to tell someone—but now it was too late. They knew.
She threw on the same clothes she wore every day: baggy jeans and an old black sweatshirt from a random ‘90s rock band she loved. Today it was Tool. On her way to the kitchen, she couldn’t stop thinking about her committee. She hated them. When she began her graduate program, she was filled with so much hope. Convinced of her abilities, she believed she could learn so much and change the world.
It felt like everything fell apart when she discovered how corrupt and cutthroat academia could be. She wished her committee members would just disappear. If they didn’t exist, she could pursue the temporal theories that had led her to study physics.
She shook her head and focused on the task at hand, trying to get Mulder to eat his breakfast. Of course, he just sat on the bed, staring at her as if she were crazy for offering him a bowl of dog kibble. She sighed, giving up. Instead, she made herself a cup of coffee and a quick breakfast of toaster waffles, which she shared with Mulder.
As she was about to leave, she noticed Ethan had forgotten his keys. She realized it was odd; Ethan never forgot his keys, even though he took public transportation. A miniature hourglass keychain, its delicate glass encasing tiny flecks of sand, added a touch of charm to the otherwise mundane task of carrying keys. He spent the night but left before Olivia woke up.
Ethan was a lab technician she had started dating, but he ended up having a remarkable impact on her. He had entered her life when she was low, considering quitting her program, but he had a knack for lifting her spirits. He appeared to have genuine concern for her and supported her with the challenges in the lab. However, he also discouraged her about reporting her committee for misconduct, warning her about the potential consequences.
“Olivia, I’m just worried,” he said last night. “You know I agree with you, but if you report them… it’s risky.”
His words echoed in her mind as she grabbed his keys and tossed them into her bag. After a moment’s hesitation, she pulled on her coat and gloves, braced herself against the cold, and trudged out to her car.